sext: sorry just got this text haha. do u still have a boner?
damn kim im sorry :(
like everyone is making fun of her because shes gaining weight and has bloated ankles like shes fucking pregnant everyone shut the fuck up jfc
(Source: palegingerbabies)
So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”. The teacher said “so you’re adopted”. THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.
(Source: i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman)
today my friend said that he was going to do an impersonation of a gay man and i got ready for some homophobic high pitched comment about clothes but instead he just said in the exact same tone without expression “i am attracted to men”
*gets called up to the office* [rest of the class voice] OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST
- me: wow I'm fat
- me: maybe I look ok
- me: I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM
- me: I'm fucking disgusting I'm losing weight now
- me: I am more than just my weight!
- me: who the fuck cares about anything
- me: I AM SO FAT.
- me: idk curves are beautiful i am beautiful
- me: i hate myself
