infinitylooper: Something to think about: The Earth is 4.6 billion years old. Let’s scale that to 46 years. We have been here for 4 hours. Our industrial revolution began 1 minute ago. In that time, we have destroyed more than 50% of the world’s forests. This isn’t sustainable.
jaseherondale: childrapist666: edwad: jaseherondale: Did you know that in Australia it’s five times more likely that you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather than looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian i am waiting for an ugly australian to add their selfie to this post pls do it is...
mycroft-holmes-approves: sodamnrelatable: Diet ideas: Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
u-kill-me-in-a-good-way: violettesilence: jesuislegrandefromage: montypythonandtheholyblog: hotdamnope: kangiku: the 12 year olds on this website get really mad if you point out the fact that they’re 12 r u serious NOT EVERY 12 OLD GETS REALLY ANGRY jesues sometimes people are just so dumb ughh this is almost as fun as playing spot the vegan. Spot the vegan? Yeah…the vegan...
white dad in any movie: but son, you're throwing away your DREAM
white son in any movie: no dad, I'm throwing away ~yours~
jinn0uchi: the-hatred-machine: purgatorystuck: Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes I love spanish A capital letter changes it even further: Mi Papa tiene 47 anos = My pope has 47 anuses literally the best post I have seen on this website
lameborghini: life hack: be nice to people with a pool at their house
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
doglets: sext: sorry just got this text haha. do u still have a boner?
So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”. The teacher said “so you’re adopted”. THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.
apatheticghost: today my friend said that he was going to do an impersonation of a gay man and i got ready for some homophobic high pitched comment about clothes but instead he just said in the exact same tone without expression “i am attracted to men”
babyferaligator: *gets called up to the office* [rest of the class voice] OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
deucebowl: she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
me: wow I'm fat
me: maybe I look ok
me: I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM
me: I'm fucking disgusting I'm losing weight now
me: I am more than just my weight!
me: who the fuck cares about anything
me: I AM SO FAT.
me: idk curves are beautiful i am beautiful
me: i hate myself
epic-humor: idrawdat: thegayloki: danglingthpider: rabioheab: rabioheab: i hate americans and their stupid fahrenheit temperatures i only made this post in the hopes that someone would reblog it with the caption “don’t fahrenhate” and you’ve all disappointed me greatly don’t be a celsiass its too fahrenlate this centimade my day see more
pgay: fangirls-havefeelingstoo: pgay: when ppl add comments to ur posts Oppinion is spelled wrong wait are you serious right now
catswithbenefits: i love 50 cent, or as he is known in Zimbabwe; four hundred million dollars
stevenfresco: stevenfresco: it’s 2013 why can’t i delete friends in real life ok so it turns out what i was thinking of is called murder
Argument I heard on the bus
Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
spaghettihos: spaghettihos: my grandpa lost his glasses today how eyeronic i love eye humor 20/20 would recommend
bueno: things i haven’t learned in high school how to pay bills how to buy a house how to buy a car how to apply for loans for college but thank jesus i can graph a polynomial function
rneerkat: thisisnotlogansblog: rneerkat: rneerkat: is there a month between april and june? may be you can’t answer your own jokes “why did the chicken cross the road?” “why” “sorry cant answer my own jokes ur gonna have to find the solution yourself”
rneerkat: arteries will always hold a special place in my heart